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The fields of hope in which I sow.

Spent the morning with a dear sister at our home, eating simple food but conversing and hearing words that were like morsels of manna to my soul.

I’ve been so anxious about housing and living situation for our move down south this past week.  But I realize that much of my anxiety came from wanting everything and nothing at the same time.  I wanted to find a situation that would allow us to serve our parents well, yet I didn’t want any of the inconvenience or sacrifice that came with it.  I wanted to be a bondservant without having to do anything bondservant-like.  Even with looking for a home, I was chasing more after worldly goods and standards.

And particularly as my friend shared about her time with a missionary couple in Kenya, my heart was stirred again for God’s work of rescue as His servants lay down their lives — their preferences, their goods, their comfortable plans, even the makeup of home life.

It expanded my view again on what really matters.  Because it makes no sense to look for the kind of housing we’re looking for, makes no sense to leave an illustrious and promising job for one in a different field, makes no sense to uproot our family from our tight-knit community, makes no sense to leave the advantages of having my parents nearby … but God is calling us south.  We have no doubt about that.

Granted, moving to SoCal can hardly be called sacrifice.  It’s not like uprooting to go overseas, though we want to do that some day.  But we give up little dreams and conveniences along the way.  And if these small things can be laid down to further God’s kingdom, even in our tiny family and with our parents, then what can we say to these things?  Only that we’ve considered them, along with everything else, as loss compared to the surpassing joy of knowing Christ.  Only that they’re as nothing if we can fellowship with Him in His sufferings, even if it’s in the tiniest of ways.

And when I forget this, when I’m in the daily humdrum of cooking for my in-laws or cleaning house or doing things that make me really die to myself, let me do all things joyfully as unto my King, knowing my reward rests with Him.  Because what can I give to Him?  Nothing but these small offerings of love.  So let me do it with all joy, with all perseverance, fixing my eyes on my lasting city.

The fields of hope in which I sow
Are harvested in Heaven

Things I don’t want to forget as we move down.

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